SHARE

Whilst Lord Buckethead’s manifesto has gone viral, a lot less attention has been placed on his hustings performances. Here we get to see the real man behind the mask. If, indeed it is a mask…

It’s worth noting that May didn’t turn up to these hustings. Whilst it’s unclear why, it can be safely assumed that she simply feared the acerbic tongue and quick wit of Lord Buckethead.

Here are a few of the comprehensive policies Lord Buckethead expressed at the hustings. He actually makes more sense than Theresa May.

Buckethead on the NHS:

“Constantly you get reorganisations by Andrew Lansley and the like. They do nothing.

You need Doctors, you need Nurses. Help them. pay them.”

Lord Buckethead Thumbs Up Maidenhead United FC

Buckethead on Fox Hunting: 

“On a class level this is just Barbarity.

It is patently obvious it is to appease the right of the Tory party, the brexit biting attack dogs.”

Not Entirely Stable Buckethead

Buckethead on PMQS: 

“It is an earth cult comedy show. Where political supporters ask planted questions.”

Lord Buckethead Standing Arms Folded

Buckethead on Grammar Schools: 

“it is patently obvious to anyone that reintroducing Grammar schools would be a retrograde step.”

Lord Buckethead Manifesto

Buckethead on Education: 

1. better pay for teachers.

2. increased facilities for children.

3. any child caught misbehaving would be blasted into deep space.

Lord Buckethead with Theresa May

Buckethead on Golf: 

“If its one of those, you know, “women can be members I suppose…” clubs

Fuck ’em.”

Buckethead Chilled

Buckethead on Housing:

“YOU HAVE SOME SERIOUSLY RICH PEOPLE IN BERKSHIRE.

BUILD ON THEIR LAND.”

Lord Buckethead John Oliver

Buckethead on Jobs: 

“I have already created one vacancy.

Bucket Polisher.”

Lord Buckethead Dab

Buckethead on Society:

“I believe we should all stick together.

I’ve seen the asteroid that’s headed your way, you have bigger things to worry about.”

Lord Buckethead Canvassing

Buckethead on Brexit: 

“Theresa May called this election about Brexit.

Have we heard from her what she plans to do about Brexit?

No, this is mad.

On Thursday you are going to be faced with Prime Minister May, or Prime Minister Corbyn. Against 27 Prime Ministers from the European Union.

It will be a Shitshow.”

Lord Buckethead Pointing

The Brexit description is the one that stuck with me. Theresa May’s best description of our future has been that it will be Red, White and Blue.

Whilst Lord Buckethead may not have a more concrete plan he undoubtedly has a better understanding of the situation.

The same is true of the NHS, the same is true of Education, even Housing.

All Hail Lord Buckethead, the hero we deserve.

Bonus: Here’s his campaign broadcast, music by D. Bowie.

Become An Evolve Politics Subscriber

Your subscriptions go directly into paying our writers a standard fee for every article they produce. So if you want to help us stay truly independent, please think about subscribing. We literally couldn’t function without the support of our fantastic readers.

Subscribe

Or a One-Off Donation to Evolve Politics

If you don’t want to subscribe, but still want to contribute to our project, you can make a one-off donation via the donate button below. All your donations go directly to our writers for their work in exposing injustice, inequality and unfairness.

Donate

Comments

comments