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Losing Tory MPs in Financial Difficulties

Theresa May has pledged to help Conservative MPs who lost their seat as a result of their disastrous election campaign, many of whom are said to now be in ‘financial difficulties’.

May reportedly made the announcement yesterday during a meeting of the 1922 Committee – the Conservative Private Members’ Committee.

She also told the committee that:

I got us into this mess and I’m going to get us out of it

Twitter exploded upon hearing of May’s sympathies for the freshly culled Tory MPs — whether or not anybody has brought out their miniature violin remains, as yet, unconfirmed.

Whilst it is funny to imagine ex-Tory MPs at the front of the dole queue and forced into accepting a zero hours contract as a Deliveroo driver to pay the bills, May is pretty much telling the losing Tory candidates that they will simply be given a cushy job somewhere else within the Tory Party.

However, whatever menial jobs she is offering them will not be enough to compensate for the Tories’ humiliating loss.

But don’t laugh too much. These clods have their finger on the nuclear button. Given the Tory omnishambles, it’s not hard to imagine they could send us all into a nuclear winter – if not through their warlike minds, then just by accidentally pushing the nuclear button.

That’s the worst thing about Tory incompetence, it’s mixed with real power. A dangerous combination.

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