TORY SCANDAL: Conservative MP shocks her own party by telling the truth

Brave Tory MP Anna Soubry has defied the yoke of her Sith masters in the Conservative Party, by committing the most heinous of crimes – she stood up and told the truth in the House of Commons. Scandalous. Tory whips must have been positively incandescent with rage.

Reports that the walls of the House of Commons started to melt, and that senior Tories were instantly banished to another dimension upon hearing ‘truth’ spoken aloud, are entirely unsubstantiated. But let’s just say… those Tories not currently circling the moons of Alpha Centauri are pretty panicked by the emergence of such “arcane sorcery”.

Differences of opinion

Whereas the Labour Party is now made up of Leavers and Remainers alike, people who’ve found common cause in defeating what they consider the greater threat (this Tory government), such breaking with ranks is generally not permitted and far more frowned upon among the Conservatives. After all, we all know the lengths Kim Jong May went to in order to “crush the saboteurs” and to silence any and all scrutiny. So what Anna Soubry did took big ole’ hairy balls. (Of the metaphorical kind… definitely not implying anatomical ones.)

Speaking in reference to the recent general election (footage via The Independent), Soubry passionately stated:

I stood in this place, on this spot on two occasions – and I warned honourable and right honourable friends on this side of the house, of the dangers of ignoring the 48%, and the young in particular. And I use that expression. Many young people who voted Remain believe an older generation have stolen their future. And the result was there on June the 8th. I hate to have been proved right, but I was proved right. Look at the demographics of those results, and as you see almost mirrored from the referendum. The older people were, the more likely they were to have voted Conservative. The younger ones, and that’s obviously in my terms today – which is anyone under the age of about 50 – but look at those demographics, look at what happened. People under the age of 45: more of them voted Labour in that election.

Continuing, referring specifically to Theresa May’s negotiating position:

My own front bench has to wake up and understand that things have now changed. The rhetoric has to be dropped. This slogan: “no deal is better than a bad deal” is a nonsense, it’s always been a nonsense, and the British people know it. And that is why they voted as they did on June the 8th.

Kudos to the lady. I for one was quite impressed. If nothing else, for being one of the few Tories to acknowledge the election results on June 8th changed things. That they were symptomatic of a dramatic increase of support for Jeremy Corbyn’s Labour, and that their Tory autonomy is no longer assured. Soubry may attribute that shift more to Brexit battle-lines than the Labour party’s policies/manifesto (or the charisma of the leader himself), more so than perhaps was the case, but small steps at a time.

And either way, a Tory standing up to tell other Tories they’re wrong, and that they need to start listening to the supplicant little people they rule over, can hardly be deemed a bad thing.

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