Whilst Lord Buckethead’s manifesto has gone viral, a lot less attention has been placed on his hustings performances. Here we get to see the real man behind the mask. If, indeed it is a mask…
It’s worth noting that May didn’t turn up to these hustings. Whilst it’s unclear why, it can be safely assumed that she simply feared the acerbic tongue and quick wit of Lord Buckethead.
Here are a few of the comprehensive policies Lord Buckethead expressed at the hustings. He actually makes more sense than Theresa May.
Buckethead on the NHS:
“Constantly you get reorganisations by Andrew Lansley and the like. They do nothing.
You need Doctors, you need Nurses. Help them. pay them.”
Buckethead on Fox Hunting:
“On a class level this is just Barbarity.
It is patently obvious it is to appease the right of the Tory party, the brexit biting attack dogs.”
Buckethead on PMQS:
“It is an earth cult comedy show. Where political supporters ask planted questions.”
Buckethead on Grammar Schools:
“it is patently obvious to anyone that reintroducing Grammar schools would be a retrograde step.”
Buckethead on Education:
1. better pay for teachers.
2. increased facilities for children.
3. any child caught misbehaving would be blasted into deep space.
Buckethead on Golf:
“If its one of those, you know, “women can be members I suppose…” clubs
Fuck ’em.”
Buckethead on Housing:
“YOU HAVE SOME SERIOUSLY RICH PEOPLE IN BERKSHIRE.
BUILD ON THEIR LAND.”
Buckethead on Jobs:
“I have already created one vacancy.
Bucket Polisher.”
Buckethead on Society:
“I believe we should all stick together.
I’ve seen the asteroid that’s headed your way, you have bigger things to worry about.”
Buckethead on Brexit:
“Theresa May called this election about Brexit.
Have we heard from her what she plans to do about Brexit?
No, this is mad.
On Thursday you are going to be faced with Prime Minister May, or Prime Minister Corbyn. Against 27 Prime Ministers from the European Union.
It will be a Shitshow.”
The Brexit description is the one that stuck with me. Theresa May’s best description of our future has been that it will be Red, White and Blue.
Whilst Lord Buckethead may not have a more concrete plan he undoubtedly has a better understanding of the situation.
The same is true of the NHS, the same is true of Education, even Housing.
All Hail Lord Buckethead, the hero we deserve.
Bonus: Here’s his campaign broadcast, music by D. Bowie.
[embedyt] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hKjGaTytWM4[/embedyt]
