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Theresa May’s dreadfully dull Florence speech inspires only the utter ridicule of Twitter [TWEETS]


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As Theresa May winced and stumbled through her much-hyped yawn-fest of a speech in Florence today, it seems the only thing she managed to inspire was the ridicule of Twitter.

The keynote speech had been billed by the BBC as one so momentous that it must rival previous Prime Minister’s announcements on the issue.

To say May’s anticlimactic efforts didn’t rise to equivalent speeches made by Churchill, Thatcher and Blair is something of an overwhelming understatement.

Highlights included the wire-bulging restraint she had to employ whilst trying to refrain from spilling out the General Election doctrine “strong and stable”

Watch Below: Theresa May almost inadvertently slips her widely ridiculed ‘strong and stable’ slogan into her Florence speech at least twice:

Oration seemingly not part of any Maybot upgrade.

Confusingly, the hype generated to grant maximum exposure to the non-event was inversely correlated by the amount of information the speech divulged.

We learnt precisely nothing.

The climax of the speech was difficult to discern from all that came before it, with a barely discernible increase in the volume of an inflection signalling that the monotonous monologue was finally over.

According to those stoics that had managed to remain awake, the speech amounted to an imploring of the EU to show the Prime Minister mercy.

With the bland delivery of it an attempt to keep its irrelevance and redundancy under the radar.

When questioned if “no deal is better than a bad deal” was still the prevailing Conservative consensus, May hurriedly muttered that of course it was.

The vapidity of the speech was further laid bare by the complete absence of any EU representatives whatsoever in attendance.

However, the reviews coming from EU representatives on social media weren’t exactly glowing:

Unsurprisingly, the only thing to be gleaned by increasingly-concerned EU leaders was the very tangible sense that May hasn’t got the first idea about what she is doing.

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